Living with an invisible disability can be hard, but it can be made even harder by the people around us. For our second post for Invisible Disabilities Week (you can find the first one here) me and Dizzy have been thinking about how others can affect how we feel, and how we would like people to react when faced with someone with an invisible disability. 

  1. To be less judgmental – we all make judgments in life, but it would be lovely for people to think more before making  and acting on them. Having an invisible disability means that people cannot see the symptoms, and this therefore makes it easier for people to misunderstand and make false judgments.

2. To be more understanding – to accept that someone with invisible symptoms is not going to be able to do all the things that other people can. To also realise that they are going through a lot each day, and to not put pressure or make them feel guilty because of this. We already place enough guilt on ourselves as it is because of our illnesses. 

Dizzy’s friends still haven’t quite got the spoon theory, but they are very good otherwise. Bob’s always encouraging Dizzy to have extra naps (but I think that’s just because he’s a rather lazy donkey, and wants lots of naps himself! :))

3. To be more aware – just having people aware of invisible disabilities can make a huge difference. It’s always such a relief when I’m talking to someone who already has some knowledge (no matter how small), and knowing that they also understand in a small way. 

4. To not assume – MS and other invisible disabilities often effect people in different ways. Just because someone knows someone else with the condition, please don’t assume that other people’s experiences and symptoms are the same. It always means far more for someone to ask questions, and show a genuine interest and concern.

5. To be kinder – there can never be enough kindness in the world, and this isn’t just for treating someone with a disability, it’s for when we cross paths with anyone in life. 🙂 Even small acts of kindness can mean the whole world to someone. 🙂 

This is still a work in progress when it comes to Dizzy being more generous with her ginger nut biscuits…. 🙂

How would you like people to react to someone with a disability/or just anyone in life really? 🙂 Are they the same as ours? 🙂 xxx

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55 Replies to “How we’d like people to react to someone with an invisible disability”

      1. You’re welcome … I wish you could get the word out more … we had a hard freeze last time and it is frosty out … they say likely all the flowers are gone … this November weather! Right now only 31 so I’ll bundle up even more than yesterday. Tonight a blog post … I intended to do one last night and decided to bring in my hose – it was cold and couldn’t curl it up to put it away and I went for another walk at the Park. I thought hopefully this doesn’t mean snow is on the way. Have a good day Heather.

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          1. I did Heather and he came running over as usual and dancing around my feet. Tomorrow I will take pumpkins. It was very sunny today and it is hard to see the squirrels sometimes as the angle of sun hits me square in the eye when I enter the Park these days. The sun is getting up later and later every day. We will change the clocks on November 4th thankfully. Tomorrow will be overcast a little so I will make a little feast of pumpkins for the munchkins. Also, it will be warmer and I can take my gloves off to use the camera. It was 31 when I left the house this morning – brrrr! Hope I caught you before you head to bed – we miss each other sometimes with this time difference. Hope your day went well. {{{ }}} from afar.

          2. Aww, did they like the little pumpkins? It’s very sunny here at the moment too. I did miss your message on the day but only because I have been away for a couple of nights for my mum’s birthday. Parker will be pleased to hear that we saw lots of squirrels on our travels. 🙂 x And our clocks go back on Sunday 28th. I always assumed everyone’s went back on the same day! xxx

          3. How is your mum? Hope you had a nice visit. I thought maybe it went into SPAM, or cyberspace. Glad you saw some squirrels and I will tell him. I went back there this morning due to the weather – we had a whopper of a storm which just got over so I am here to load some pics I took this morning. Then I will write the pumpkin post later after they are loaded up – I gave them peanut butter sandwich cookies today. They are spoiled. The pumpkins were all gone so I’m guessing they ate them after all the walkers who feed them went home. 🙂 I thought everyone turned them back the same time as well. You are a week ahead and I wouldn’t mind that as it is not getting light til 8:00 a.m. now and if it is a dark day, even later than that. Guess the sun is down by now there since it is already nearly 9:00 p.m. I went to bed at 9:00 p.m. last night – my boss had a vacation day so I was able to catch up on my work and had a few hours to do things during the day instead of leaving it to after work. No bags under the eyes today. 🙂

          4. Mum did have a lovely birthday. We went on lots of walks and saw lots of wildlife! We also visited a wildlife park. 🙂 I look forward to an hours extra sleep when the clocks go back, but it does mean we then have the darker evenings approaching even faster, which I’m not so keen on. It’s dark here by about 6 already. xxx

          5. That’s good – I am glad you went to visit your Mum and help her celebrate. How old is she Heather? Mine was exactly 30 years older than me and same for my father … in those days, 30 was late to be having kids. Nowadays people have kids in their 40s and it is not uncommon. I wouldn’t have the patience I don’t think as I never had kids, never had siblings and I’ve never been around kids, not even babysitting! For me, I like the sun rising early again as it’s been difficult getting out as early in the morning and I do all my errands and/or walking in the morning – there is a lot of crime in my city now, so I never go out at night and once I am in for the day, I stay put. It was rare I went out the other night to walk at the Park, but we had that hard freeze coming and I had to take the car out of the garage to put the hose in – I have a small garage. But, it was dusk when I came home and I didn’t care for that at all.

          6. My mum is 70, so it was a big birthday. 🙂 That’s why we went away for a couple of nights. 🙂 She had me at 41, so abit later than yours. And I’m an only child too. 🙂 x I would like a little Heather one day though, just one. Or if it doesn’t happen for whatever reason, just a house full of dogs and donkeys. 🙂 xxx

          7. 70 is still very young and my friend Ann Marie is 75 years old, will be 76 years old on December 5th. She is so active Heather – she is a former nun and I don’t know when she left the convent as she never talks about that part of her life, but she is active with her church, and also she volunteers at a soup kitchen in Detroit every Monday, volunteers at a nursing home every Thursday and teaches Sunday school. She went to college and got a teaching certificate after she left the convent. She was studying Spanish last year as many of the volunteers at the soup kitchen are Mexican and she wanted to be able to speak to them in Spanish. I don’t know where she gets the energy – she only retired three years ago! See, having kids at 40 or older is much more common than when my parents had me – at thirty they were considered old. It is nice being an only child though you can’t blame things on a sibling and you can’t say “well, he/she got to do it!” I am too old to have kids now, but I never had any maternal instincts at all – I don’t know if its because I never had siblings, never babysat and I had cousins around my age, but my mother and her brother had a falling out many many years ago and never spoke to one another. I only saw them at my grandparents’ funerals and that was it. So I never interacted with family members my age. I’d be happy with animals instead of kids – hey, an animal will love you unconditionally and humans not always. My parents for example – my father took off with all the money in the bank, and an annuity fund they also shared jointly. He was able to get the money and just left … my mom was not old enough to go on Social Security and she had many medical problems and could not work. I was still living at home at the time, so I was able to help her out and we got along … luckily the house was already paid for.

          8. Your friend, Ann, sounds wonderful! She does so much! 🙂 And I think it does make a difference. I’m the same. I even find animal babies far cuter than human one. 🙂 x I’m so sorry to hear your dad did that though. That must have been so hard, your mum was very lucky to have you around to help. xxx

          9. I am amazed at her good deeds and I must say that she is the kindest person I have ever met in my life. She does good deeds to everyone. She even arranged a funeral for a woman at the nursing home where she volunteers. The younger mother AND her mother were staying at the same nursing home, after both had surgery and they lived together, but could not take care of one another. The older woman passed away and my friend arranged to have the funeral when Beverly was out of bed and able to attend-made the arrangements for a little dinner and the poor women did not have any family – just each other, so arranged to have nursing home staff who were off attend the funeral and dinner afterward. She is still taking Beverly grocery shopping as she is unsteady on her feet and has no car. Yes, it is not a pretty story with my father – I was always close to my mom, so that was good for both of us Heather.

  7. Personally I love when people ask me about ms or why I have a foley cath when I do, I look at it as an opportunity to educate people about ms. I am surprised by the number of people that are offended when people ask questions. What’s your take?

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    1. I like people to ask too. I would much rather they asked so I can explain MS to them a bit. 🙂 And I prefer people to show an interest rather than make assumptions. 🙂 xxx

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  8. This is such an important post. Invisible disabilities is something that I feel we need to know more about and to accept that they are REAL! You say we should try to be kind. That is the best possible suggestion. There is too little kindness in the world sometimes. I am going to remember to try harder to be kind.

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    1. I think the kindness one is the most important. Even the smallest act makes such a difference. 🙂 x And from knowing you, I have never known you as anything but kind! x Hope you’re having a lovely week. xxx

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  12. Nicely put! Some people really seem to struggle with empathy and I think as more and more people sink into their phones, and away from face to face interaction, that isn’t going to get better. But I also think that being kind to others does bring kindness back to you.

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    1. I believe that too. And it’s really lovely to know that you have made someone’s day by doing something nice for them. x The little things make all the difference in life. 🙂 xxx

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  13. I actually blogger about something very similar a few days ago about what NEVER to say to someone living with invisible illness and what we want to hear. You can check it out here. coolncreative.wordpress.com/2018/10/15/invisible-illness-awareness-week/
    I would say I wish others would at least try and understand what it’s like to live with chronic illness and that we are human beings and are not incapable at all but we may need extra time to do things, need to rest or may not be able to do everything someone who doesn’t live with chronic illness can do.

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    1. Thank you, that’s a great post. The ‘I hope you get better soon’ one drives me mad. Part of me feels like giving a really sarcastic response back when someone says it to me. 🙂 xxx

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      1. Exactly. its should be I hope you are able to get some rest and feel as well as you can be soon not get better because we may feel better but we wont ever get completely better.

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  14. I agree so much with this ❤️👍 I would love people be more kinder, understanding and less judgmental. This was such a beautiful post so thank you ❤️😊

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      1. You are more than welcome! Y’all always make me smile, so I am glad what I say means a lot to you both! Lots of love and well kitty hugs because I don’t have sweet donkey hugs to send your way!! xxx

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Let us know your thoughts, they always make for a very happy Dizzy :)