Me and Dizzy had our last teaching lesson for the academic year last week (and our last one at our current job)! This year has definitely been abit of a struggle for us with a relapse happening towards the beginning of it, so we’ve decided to do a little post on why it’s not been so good but also the good things that have come out of the year! 🙂
The not so good things….
- Having to accept my MS-I had been feeling as though I had my MS under control and somehow magically it would just disappear, this relapse made me fully realise it might not quite work like that…
- Anxiety-With the relapse came anxiety about everything! Three months of no sleep and constant palpitations.
3. Vulnerability-My body would just suddenly stop working if it decided it was grumpy about something, meaning at times being literally stuck and having to rely on others to help. It’s been hard being that vulnerable but also having people see me being that vulnerable!
4. Guilt-For not being able to do everything I felt I should. Work wise for having time off, going back still feeling half dead and worrying that I wasn’t doing the best I should have been.
5. Crying-I seemed to go from never crying to crying all the time!
The good things…. 🙂
- Learning it’s enough to do the best you can-I might not have been amazing at everything this year, but I did the best I could and I’m finally realising that that’s ok.
- Finding new things in life-I’ve started doing new creative things (such as my blog!) and they’re all things I love doing! Dizzy’s also been very happy about this. 🙂
3. More in touch with me– All of the seemingly negative feelings and emotions has made me more open and accepting of all my feelings.
4. Looking after myself– Accepting that I need to put my health first and look after me. Even if that does mean some days just getting up long enough to get food. 🙂
5. Being here-Me and Dizzy feel as though we’ve literally had to drag ourselves through this year but we’re made it and life is looking more positive again! 🙂 Especially with a summer of lazy days and visiting donkeys planned. 🙂
We’ll still be pottering around at college for a few more weeks, and although we’re sad to be leaving, we’re also just so relieved to have made it to the end of the year! We’re then off to our new job in September with less hours and responsibility. Dizzy’s already decided this means they’ll be more time for her blog and eating brownies. 🙂
Have you had any not so good times that you don’t mind sharing with me and Dizzy and what good came out of them for you? xxx
Teaching is ( one of ) the hardest job in the world and finding it too much is absolutely normal for any body. Being on the edge of what you can with stand is too much for a body already under attack from itself. I am delighted you have something less stressful . Seems to me you have learnt more in a year than most people learn in a life time!🌳
Really happy to be doing less hours in September and I think my body will be much happier too. 🙂
The one thing with MS is you do seem to get your moneys worth with learning about yourself and life. xxx
Loved this post. Touching, sad a bit, but full of positivity and hope. Good luck with everything and give Dizzy a big hug!
Really glad you liked it! It has been a tough year but am feeling so much more positive about everything now. 🙂 Have given Dizzy a big hug from you! 🙂 xxx
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Thank you so much. It is very much appreciated. xxx
Everything happens for a reason and it sounds like the new job has come about just at the right time. Lovely, positive post 🙂 xxx
It’s true, everything does. 🙂 I was feeling so miserable about redundancy but now thinking it might actually be for the best. This year has been such a struggle there I’m now looking forward to a new start somewhere. 🙂 xxx
Keep that positive attitude! New starts are good, you never know what is around the corner 🙂 xx
I love your post! you are going through so much and yet have such a whimsical way of writing. Love it. I suffer from chronic illnesses and I myself love it when there is some whimsy. God Bless you honey, and keep you well.
Thank you so much for your lovely comment and really glad you liked my post! I love abit of whimsy too. 🙂 Hope you’re keeping well yourself. xxx
I’m doing fine, thank you. Remission almost 1 year.
That’s wonderful to hear! 🙂 xxx
Thank you !!!
This is a very touching and also very positive post. I just love Dizzy. She is so photogenic. I am wondering if she has mentioned anything to you about being the central character in some books? Children’s books? Self help books for those with chronic illness? Anyway….. I am sending you positive thoughts and looking forward to reading more posts about your life.
Aww, thank you so much Anne. Dizzy has mentioned the idea of some books based on our blog. We have started one but it’s taken us 4 months just to figure out the margins so it might be a while. 🙂 I love the idea of children’s books though, I’ll definitely mention it to Dizzy. 🙂 xxx
Sending you (((hugs))) I have known a number of people throughout my life who have MS and I know it is NOT easy!!!! I agree with Anne above, you should write children’s books starring Dizzy!!!
We’re getting there, it’s nice be able to do posts like this aswell and see the positives that have come out of it. 🙂 I’m definitely going to mention the idea of children’s books to Dizzy. We’ve starting one that’s more based around my blog but children’s ones would just be so sweet! 🙂 xxx
The obvious answer would be getting a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis. But really it is trying to figure out how to make the weaknesses in my body becomes strengths. I used to look at people walking into the grocery store and think I used to be able to do that. However now I’m able to look at all the things I can do. It was a process getting here, but God has been with me every step of the way!
I use to do that or when people were telling me what they were doing that evening/weekend and I’d be thinking ‘I’ll be back in bed…’ I still do sometimes but its rarely and mostly I now appreciate and look at the things I can do too. 🙂 We definitely learn a lot from the process too. xxx
Yes, we only fail when we don’t move forward!!
What a wonderful post. Life is always more rewarding when we can find the good that stems from the bad. And we’re all benefiting from your decision to start blogging. So thanks to you and Dizzy.
Thank you, that’s so lovely of you to say!
It is really nice doing a post like this and being able to see the good that’s come from this year. 🙂 They’re always there somewhere! xxx
I think finding the good helps to uplift spirits.
I’ve been in the middle of a not-so-good-time for thirteen years. I try to keep smiling and focus on others. Not always possible… but tomorrow is another day. 😉
Sending up prayers for comfort and encouragement for you and Dizzy. Have a nice summer and continue to take care of YOU…and find your joy. <3
It’s not always possible but I think that’s ok too. I thought for ages I had to be ok with it all, all the time, but I’ve realise you really don’t. Tomorrow is always another day aswell! With mine it’s so up and down that I keep telling myself that as I can feel awful one day but then not to bad the next.
Sending prayers to you too. I hope you have a lovely Summer too. 🙂 xxx
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I am so glad you survived the teaching year and your new job will be easier for you. I gradually reduced my teaching hours until last June when I retired from teaching organic gardening. I cried buckets but I am enjoying blogging and more me time. 😊
That must have been really hard but that’s really good that you’re found other things you enjoy doing that you now have the time to do. 🙂 I think finding other things that make you happy is so important. xxx
I am so sorry you had a very difficult year. I can relate to the terribleness of anxiety. I had a short bout that was like yours and was shocked by the severity. I try to give myself a “pass” for things that chronic #migraine make difficult. I realize that I fall short in areas and that is ok. Also, I try to acknowledge to myself whenever I do manage to accomplish tasks. The last photo on this post is absolutely gorgeous. Thank you for blogging and sharing.
I had never really understood anxiety till this year but it’s really awful. I’d never experienced anything like it! That’s a really go idea to give yourself a ‘pass’ but also acknowledge tasks, we too often don’t do that and don’t think about what we have achieved. 🙂
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment.:) And glad you love the last photo, they’re flowers from one of my students. xxx
This is a brilliant and bold blog that supports the notion that it is okay not be okay all the time. I’m with the many others who say ‘be encouraged’ your attitude is spot on. Be bold about what you do next. I like the books idea too, kids love a character to respond to and Dizzy has that in spades. (Never quite worked out where the dinosaurs went but love it all the same!)
Thank you for your lovely comment and am so glad you like my blog. 🙂 It is so important to remember it’s okay to not be okay but it’s something that’s so easy to forget. I love the book idea too. 🙂 I’ve not been able to work out where the dinosaurs went either. There was always meant to be dinosaurs… xxx
Brilliant post. I love your outlook on life and I’m glad you are taking positives out of every situation xx
Thank you. Dizzy is very happy you liked the post. 🙂 xxx
About your “good things”…wow!! you are just amazing.
About personal “not so good times”, I recently had similar experience. Few things changed in my life and with that all my hope was gone. I was completely stressed and overwhelmed to the point I couldn’t see anything clear and I was suffocating, both literally. I am still battling anxiety and depression but I am slowly coming in terms with my situation and most importantly being conscious about my thoughts and feelings. I am work in progress, still at the beginning of my journey so I cannot tell you what good came/ will come out of it. But it certainly have changed the way I view life.
Thanks for the nice post. 🙂
Thank you for your lovely and open comment. I try and see the positives, but the few months after Christmas I wasn’t able to at all.
I am glad to hear you’re doing abit better now, Just give yourself all the time you need and look after yourself. Has it changed your view of life in a positive way? I think we’re all always works in progress, that’s how I now feel about myself. 🙂 xxx
Sometimes life hits us hard, the beginning is always difficult. That is the period where we are blinded by our pain and suffering. But the Christmas is over long ago and I hope so is your troubles of that period. Of course something lingers but with time we are always able to process it better, we just have to give ourselves a chance 🙂
The fact that I have come this far, and despite all odds I am even more determined to continue my journey, I’d like to believe it has changed my view of life in a positive way. But I still have a long way to go, still a lot to learn.
I am happy to know that you also view your life as “work in progress”. I believe that is the beginning of all things wonderful 🙂
Reblogged this on Dream Big, Dream Often.
Thank you. 🙂 xxx
You are welcome!
Best of luck in everything
Thank you. 🙂 xx
My husband has MS and it’s tough to see him struggle. His former incarnation was as a commercial diver and he is very invested in what his body could do and now no longer can. He’s still very creative — he likes to do mechanical-type projects such as rebuilding and electronic wheelchair so it can go on all-wheel terrain — but it’s not enough somehow and I’ve yet to find the thing that will help him cope with the new normal. Perhaps this blog will help. ;0)
It is so difficult not being able to live life the way you once could but that’s lovely to hear he has found ways of being creative in what sounds to be really wonderful ways, even if it’s not quite enough. He’s lucky to have you also helping to find and discover new things. 🙂
Thank you so much for visiting my blog and taking the time to comment. 🙂 xxx
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I think my hardest day was one of the last days I was able to physically work. I worked doing transportation and logistics scheduling for a building company. I loved my job, office and coworkers. They were even very accommodating when I was sick. But it was on my lunch break I was driving back to work and my legs started to spasm uncontrollably and I had a sharp pain in my head. Thankfully I could see my job from the expressway and made it back safely. But soon after the sensory overload started and working was no longer an option.
I think having to give up work must be so difficult, but even more so when it’s a job you loved. I’m glad you got back safely that day though! And your nails are beautiful. 🙂 xxx
This was a great post Heather. I’m loving reading more about you and seeing these pictures of Dizzy, I’m becoming quite attached to her. I’m glad that you’re able to get the good from the bad. Keep looking after yourself (and Dizzy) 🙂
Thank you! I’m glad you’re enjoying visiting out blog. 🙂 We’re just trying to keep cool today. 🙂 Hope you’re having a great weekend! xxx