Today we are writing about asking for help. Not always the easier thing to do, but in life, especially when living with a chronic illness, sometimes can’t be avoided. Dizzy and I recently had such an experience, and it’s reminded us that there’s nothing wrong with admitting when we’re struggling.
Our lovely, little play that we did at Easter, had a second run at the end of August, which was super exciting, but I also knew that after my relapse I was being a bit naughty. I thought with some careful managing and planning though, it would be ok. And for the rehearsals it really was! Then we got to the dress rehearsal….and the bright lights. Now, bright lights use to be a problem, but they hadn’t bothered me and Dizzy in years! Until the dress rehearsal. My MS decided it didn’t like them again and threw a huge paddy. Somehow, I managed to get through the rehearsal feeling like my body was about to stop at any moment and, head wise, about to black out.
Luckily, it wore of when I got outside and I managed to get home. But then my MS obviously decided it was grumpy about the whole lights thing again (even though there were no lights anymore!), as on the way to my front door I managed to throw up on myself (not pleasant), everything went wibbly wobbly, and I ended up in bed, shaking, tingling, and feeling like I was either going to die or my head was going to fall off. Neither being great options…
And I still had the three night run ahead of me! So poor Dizzy had me worrying all the day next. I even forgot to give her a ginger nut biscuit! But in the end I realised I had to say something. There was no way I could do that to myself again, and I really didn’t want to let anyone down. I hate saying I need help. I never want to be a burden on anyone, and it does make me feel vulnerable. Some people are just really mean in these situations. And although they were all lovely people that I was working with, I was still scared of what the reaction might be.
But they were amazing!
Some darker, moody lights included, and everything was sorted. I got through all the performances, and apart from a few wobbly moments of my MS wondering: ‘Are those the lights back?!’ I was fine, and I loved the rest of the week. 🙂
But most importantly, I was reminded that asking for help doesn’t have to be scary. The odd bad experiences stick with you, and it had made me avoid putting myself in any situations that could lead me to needing help from people I don’t know that well. But it’s reminded me that needing and asking for a little help is not a bad thing (and if they do react badly, that’s their stuff not ours).
So this is my little reminder that asking for help is not a bad thing. It’s not a weakness. It takes bravery, and we all need a little help at times. It’s just a part of being our wonderful, magnificent, sometimes wobbly, human selves. 🙂
What experiences have you had when you’ve needed a little help? And did it turn out ok? 🙂
xxx
soooo happy you are ok!!! It can be difficult to ask for help but if we just swallow our pride, people are usually more than willing to help!
It’s true. There’s always the worry of how people will react, but most people are wonderful. I still find it hard asking for help, but I am learning. 🙂 I hope you’re doing ok. 🙂 xxx
You must have been doing a great job with all the time and effort. No calling in the understudy! I’ve asked both my brother and sister for help with transportation. It has always been a “yes.” My problem is feeling like their day is just blown.
It is so hard asking for help for many reasons. I think overall people are happy to help, but I still feel uncomfortable doing it. I am learning to be better with asking though. 🙂 I hope you are doing ok. 🙂 xxx
In my experience if I don’t ask for help when I need it the outcome will probably be worse and I will end up hurt
It’s an important thing to learn, to ask for help when it’s needed. xx How have you been Grace? xxx
This is my first time logging into wordpress in months, but my answer is “Im still on the right side of the dirt”, so that’s a good thing! Good luck with Kesimpta!!!
First of all glad to know you are OK and as they say “weathered the storm” Sometimes my anxiety when least expected will interrupt my progress in this world. Since I am alone with two cats they are of comfort to me to watch and the second thing I do is give a shout out to those who know me online and then I get understanding and support and soon I am all right again. Like you with your Dizzy I have my Dotty sitting here on my computer table always watching over all I do. I wish you all the best and both of us send our blessings and hope the sailing will now be smooth.
Thank you. The online community is amazing! I too have anxiety, and talking to others really helps. xx How have you and Dotty been? Dizzy and I are spending a lot of time under the heated blanket now that the weather is getting a little chillier. xxx
Dotty still sits in her prominent place on my computer table watching what I do every day. The Florida weather has become cooler which is nice after a long hot summer. I work in my workroom and need no AC now but I do keep the window open. My cats roam about and Freddie has become a Mama’s boy and spends his days lying on a table right behind me. Morticia is very much a Garbo kind and always vants to be alone she spends her days in the front room by the heater I have there since the night temperatures now drop into the 50s. I hope you and Dizzy are having a good week,
Such a great post on something I’ve dealt with so many times in my life during my working years, as a mom, and in a 20+ year struggle with chronic illnesses. It is so easy to forget we’re human and not superwomen.
It’s true. And I try to remind myself that we all need help at times. Maybe even superwomen too (actually, I think we all are a little super really)! 🙂 xxx
I am glad you asked for help and received . I found myself in tears on a stupid team building day as I was so fearful of not being able to “ pull my weight “ . An unexpected work mate was kind and made me feel less useless, but I still remember the fear of others seeing my incapacity. MS makes us weak in many ways but being honest about our limitations is one less way to be incapacitated!
I’m glad your work mate for able to help. It’s so hard and frustrating – MS seems so unfair at times. I was also in tears when I told them before the opening night. A little kindness goes such a long way, and I try to remind myself that we all need help at times, MS or no MS. xx How have you been? Are you keeping warm now its getting a little chillier? xxx
I am doing ok and contemplating buying down trousers. The team building day got even better when a drunk colleague told me she loved me, because I reminded her of her grandmother due to my walking stick!
It’s okay to ask for help to make your life a wee bit easier Heather.
You are right, and I am slowly getting better at it. 🙂 xxx
Well, sometimes you just have to concede you need a little help even if you like being independent – make it easy on yourself Heather. Take care.